Rebuilding Again

This blog post is way overdue, maybe it's because I've been pushed into the ground too hard this time but everything comes out now...

In the last few months, I have been trying to please people and do everything that people expect of me without thinking about the effects it would have one me. Why did I need someone else's opinion of approval? Their opinion does not own me. I am saying this now, but within the last few months, this has been the routine: me running around in circles for everyone else and everything else except for myself (if that makes any sense)?

It occurred to me tonight that I am seriously worn out and exhausted from all the things I have been doing with work, school, and just trying to be a person that is acceptable for everyone. For example, I try to be there all the time if someone needs me and I rarely say no because I don't want to let people down. Another example would be if someone is upset with me, I feel guilty and take the blame on myself when that is not always the case; words may be twisted so the guilt falls on me and I feel that everything I do may be wrong in that person's eyes. It can really break someone down when they constantly are pointing out your flaws and then when you try to address them; it's still not enough. I kept trying to make others happy and would feel that I wasn't being a good enough person in other's eyes, but honestly that just made my judgement clouded and it makes me lose myself as a person. I should never try to be something that I am not, if someone can't accept that, then it's not worth trying to make an effort of keeping that person in my life! There are always moments when we may let people in too close and we get caught up in trying to make sure that our friends or loved ones come first and try to make them happy. Even though this is okay and healthy, there needs to be a balance of give and take in these friendships and relationships. I have realized that I cannot be anyone but myself and if others are looking down on that, there is really no point of stressing over it and there is nothing that can be done. We cannot change and should not change for others. At the end of the day, our strongest and biggest supporter is and should be ourselves. I have been working so hard in the last few months in all aspects of my life that I had to slow down to realize that I am exhausted and need to take time for me.

New Schedules Means Better Organization!

Ahhh...here we are again at a new school year! I could not be more excited to be back on a set schedule and routine, but it is harder than the last four years I've done now that I am in grad school. I will be having my blog posts in the future where I am venting about grad school and the horrors of it, but hopefully it won't come to that anytime soon! ;)

One of the things that I have been trying to get adjusted to is a set schedule, better planning, and budgeting with my bust schedule. I have decided to go back to trying to have an organized plan with budgeting and planning of the week, more in the food/meals area more than anything else.

Since tomorrow is Sunday, I will be taking advantage of having a day off and do my laundry, a little of work, but most important--planning and budgeting for the week! 

I have been slipping with my spending, I hate spending more money than I plan to weekly, but it adds up going out to eat, visiting friends, getting that tea out instead of brining it from home, etc. My plan for this week (even though it will be difficult with the new heavy schedule) is to come up with a meal plan for the week, go grocery shopping, and stick to my budget. I am also planning on making meals ahead of time and freezing some of them for the nights I get home late and don't have enough time to cook dinner. 

I'm excited to see if I can stick to this plan, especially this week since it'll be the first week. If I can get into this routine, I think I will be healthier and less stressed about finances and my eating habits with my already busy schedule! 

Budget, save, healthy, here we go! ;)