Christmas is Ahead of Me!

Ahh I've been trying to ignore the whole idea of Christmas for the last few weeks now, not even thinking about what I will do for it, what I will get other people for gifts, etc. I thought that plan was working great until it hit me today...Christmas is already ahead of me, I need to actually get on top of this!

I've been so busy with school work and finals coming up that I have not thought about the Holidays at all. When it snowed yesterday, I loved the feeling and it made me think of Christmas! Then this morning I was thinking of all the people who are getting me gifts and how I need to make sure I go shopping for them soon, the tree isn't even up yet!! 

It is still somewhat early in December but I know the time will fly if I don't start doing anything now because then it will creep up on me and I will only have time to do all of my things Dec 23rd! 

Tomorrow I will be thinking of a time this week to set up the tree, maybe tuesday?! I will also need to start going to the stores this week for xmas gifts and to start brainstorming, and I need to make a list of all the gifts I need to get everyone! ;) Ah there is so much to do! Hopefully once school slows down I will be able to be more on top of this but school never slows down!

Hopefully tomorrow I will have a few things accomplished christmas related like maybe having a list of things I need to do! We will see how much time I have tomorrow...


Thought I would also share this photo because Bear seems to have all the time in the world these days! ;)

And thought I would share this other picture of what I've been doing all day besides schoolwork, drinking tea out of my new favorite starbucks cup, love me some mermaids! :D

Trying Something New

It seems I've been in reflection mode for awhile now, I've been having my ups and downs of moods, maybe it's the holidays? I really have no clue but I have been doing a lot of thinking about it. 

I realized that sometimes as we get older we feel that we need to rush to have some kind of plan whether that be trying to be with someone, finishing school right away/getting a career, trying to have children, etc. In my case lately I think it has been trying to please everyone and not being alone.

My schedule has become so busy lately that I feel guilty when my friends or family wants to see me and I don't have the time but say yes anyway. I found out that sometimes you have to take a few steps back and not always say yes. If you don't take a break or do something for yourself, it can make things worse. For me, it got to the point where it put me behind in school in some moments or I was being pulled in all directions trying to make everyone happy that I became so drained and unhappy which is not okay.

As for the not being along concept, I'v been in relationships over the last few years and have tried being with someone, but I think that I THOUGHT I needed to do those things to be happy which isn't the case. I wondered why I felt so alone sometimes and I realized that maybe I was trying every angle of being happy with someone or thinking I needed to be with someone when sometimes being alone and being happy for yourself can be the best thing. I also realized that it's not the best idea to dwell when something doesn't work out with another person because if you let it, it can make you unhappy and feel bad about yourself when it may have had nothing to do with you in the first place. It's important to remember that just because something doesn't work out with ONE person, it does not mean the end of the world or that you are going to end up along. There have been moments where I have sat there and thought Wow this really hurts, I don't want to date again because I don't want to feel this way again or It must have been me, now it's never going to work out with someone else. We have to go through all of these hard feelings in order to learn and grow more about ourselves. It also helps to remember that if someone doesn't like you or want to be with you, it's their loss because if they can't accept your for who you are then what is the point of even trying to convince them? There is no point! You can never convince someone to like you, be with you, or be your friend. Another great thing I learned was that I AM NEVER alone because I had to sit back and look around to what really mattered in my life. My friends, family, what makes me happy, etc. We are all going to have bad days or days where we feel down but it's important to remember the good things already in you're life and what makes you happy. Glad I finally posted this!

Old Friends

This is not too common for me to be writing about my weekend before it's even over...but I couldn't help but blog about it anyway...

Yesterday was a pretty short day that consisted of my first class being cancelled, which was a good thing but still had to go to all the way to class to find out it was cancelled because there was no email about it, just written on the board in class...then I got to see some old college friends during lunch which was nice because I got to catch up with them and hadn't laughed that much in awhile :) my last class was not too long, under 40 minutes thankfully and then had to go run errands with my friend which paid off because I got to pick up my car from the mechanic. I was happy to get the car back, but it was very expensive just for an inspection, but hopefully we will be getting a new car sometime soon...that night also I got to see an old friend from high school which was nice because it's been awhile. 

Today must have been the best day though because of all the people I got to see. I woke up late, but finally got to Beverly to see Jimmy! It had been a little while since I had seen him last since he is an hour away from me. We were going to go to Salem but it was too crowded and parking was not anywhere to be found so we decided to just stay close to campus. We first went to a small candy store where everything is all homemade and it reminded me of the little shops I used to go to in the white mts. I bought a lot of milk chocolate and truffles which made my belly happy :) We then went up the road a little where we came to a little town where there were lots of shops and we found an organic/healthy food shop place called Wild Oats. The store had a ton of vitamins, healthy food, and other products. I bought a few things: hummus, soup, shower gel from alba with coconut milk in it, and moisturizer with shea butter, it's hard to find such good organic stuff near home so I was excited when Jimmy and I found this shop. We grabbed food after at a little sub shop up the street and had grilled cheese with tomatoes, which I haven't had in awhile, it was so delicious. We also got to play frisbee for awhile by the beach which was amazing because Jimmy lives right on the Ocean. :) We eventually grabbed dinner and I ate so much I was happily full :) 

When I got home I passed out because I was exhausted, but when I woke up I finally decided to go out and visit a few more old friends :) We got to play pool for a few hours, and I won once but then lost after that miserably! Tomorrow I get to see family from Virginia and more old friends, so so far this weekend has been great because I have seen so many old friends and got to relax, which doesn't happen too often these days. Hopefully tomorrow the weather will be nice enough to do apple picking or have a picnic! :D

New Beginnings...

I always tell myself that I am going to blog daily and keep up with this...but I have put this off for too long...I finally decided to try and keep a regular schedule with this...HOORAH! I definitely miss blogging also, not going to lie, reading Jimmy's has gotten me back into blogging! Among keeping a regular schedule with my blogging, I decided I am going to start doing some workout classes that my school is offering this semester, like Zumba, Yoga, and Kickboxing! I am very excited to start trying these classes because it will mix it up, especially since it is getting colder and harder to always go for runs outside. I detest running on a treadmill! 

>.< I do have to admit though, it is nice being able to run in this weather with the crisp October air, I am definitely a Fall girl versus Summer! 

      School has been keeping me very busy this semester as well, but it has been a good schedule for me because I am actually really enjoying my classes, even though it is a lot of work and I barely get free time. It is nice though when I get free time because when I get to see my friends it makes it all the better, especially since most of my close friends are away at school or have moved. I am hoping to visit my friend Jimmy this weekend and maybe take a day trip to Salem, MA! I have not been there for over a year, so it would be nice to visit, especially since it is the month of Halloween! I still have not decided if I am going to dress up or not for Halloween since I will be going out for trivia night, maybe maybe not. 

      Another new thing I am trying, well going back to is being healthier...over the summer I really kept track of what I had been eating and I had a really healthy routine so I am going to try to go back to that. These days I feel like I'll eat whatever is around or if I even have time, which has not been making me feel well (energy wise, etc) so I'm hoping that if I start eating healthy I will feel better and maybe get back on a normal eating schedule, since my daily schedule of work/classes is crazy enough!

Think I'll start adding pictures to these blogs....

Finally back at it!

       Of course, I kept trying to blog, but never got around to it until now. Thankfully Jimmy got me inspired to do it, his blog is great, adventure proof! :) The weather tonight is crazy and windy and stormy but I love it because it's fall weather! Most people I know don't like fall, but it is my favorite season without question! I love the colors that fall brings and the crisp air and pumpkins and the smell of cinnamon. It is amazing :)
       Another great thing about fall is that it was just my birthday this past weekend! Hooray! I FINALLY turned 21! It definitely was a fun time and met some new people! School has been very busy also, where I am pulling 12-14 hour days which has been exhausting.
         My new obsession is Game of Thrones! I am only on the second episode and it is killing me that they have to kill the pet wolves, dAMN THAT QUEEN! Yes, this show is entertaining and will keep me awake all night! :D I would write but I am exhausted, I will blog again tomorrow.

Random As It Gets..An Update Perhaps?

I don't know exactly what to call this blog...it is a mix of randomness and update I guess? To start off, I woke up after staying at a friends house and had a lovely breakfast (toast with jam and fried eggs :)) then I lounged around for a bit, went to an appointment and then lounged around for a bit longer...I love days like these...I plan on running later, need to keep running so I have more energy and feel better! I also plan on spending some time with my father later, watching a movie because it will be hard to have family time this weekend because I am working all weekend...and have to pay school bills and such. Ugh I do hate finances and bills!

I am proud of myself though because I have been eating healthy...like I had planned! I ate some cherries today, blueberries, a nectarine, a hamburger for some protein and such. My tomatoes have also been growing a lot so I love being able to have fresh vegetables right outside! When I eat better, I feel better which can help with the amount of stress I put on myself. 


Since there have been some changes already in my life, I am trying to make some other changes as well. For example, since I am redoing my room, I would like to get more/different furniture to go with the overall theme of the room, I will put up pictures when it is done. I am also on a cleaning binge with my room and trying to get rid of things that I don't need anymore, I am finally learning to appreciate what it means to have a clean and stress free space! I am continuing to do the things I need to do for me after everything I have gone through (relationship, etc.) so hopefully I can learn and grow for the better!

The Good With The Bad

So recently things have not gone right for me...there was a change in my life that needed to be recognized...the relationship I was in wasn't working even though I tried convincing myself that it would work..sometimes it's okay to step back and have time to fully reflect on who you are. I would hope that one day I can be who I'm supposed to be so this relationship could be right this time, but who knows, you never know what can happen.

The good aspect of this is that I will have time to really find out who I am and what I want, it will give me more time to come to peace with myself and be a better person, not change exactly but just become a better person overall. It will also give me more time to take care of myself better for the long run (eating and exercising well). I am lucky to have wonderful friends and family, that is something also that people can forget to when times get hard.

I hope that after all of this time, perhaps the relationship will be stronger and for the better, but if not, it's the fact that I could understand myself better and that I have grown and learned from my mistakes and would have a better person from my experience. This will definitely be a journey, but I will see how this goes.. :)

Running Around...

I couldn't blog yesterday and was really disappointed! I worked all day and was exhausted with the whole house being torn apart, the crew didn't leave until 10pm, which has made living out of one room very difficult! This blog will be brief too because I am literally RUNNING AROUND trying to do last minute such as pack, clean the car, go to the bank, bring the animals home, and eat dinner on top of that.

I am very excited to go away on this trip to NJ but this week has been too stressful for my liking! I mean it can be great RUNNING AROUND and getting things accomplished, who doesn't love accomplishing tasks?! But overall, I have lost too much sleep and don't have enough energy to want to do something like this again, especially when my life is thrown in chaos and I have to live out of a suitcase :) welcome to the classy life. I wanted to take some pictures of how I packed, I love organization and learning new organizational ways for things, but once again I didn't have enough time today! One of the best things I love about accomplishing packing is being neat with the packing so when I arrive somewhere it can be easily for me to find things! For example, I love being able to put the most important things in ziplock bags so things stay organized, like toothpaste, lotion, etc, the things that can spill or leak...is this post weird? Haha, I know it is very different than the previous ones because it doesn't exactly have a theme or whatever but one of my goals lately has been to be more organized with my life all around, and it's a start even if it's just with packing! :) anyone else feel too cluttered with their life? Gotta run and visit a friend (Jimmy) soon now too, so I will try and blog over the weekend, definitely by Sunday or Monday!

Story of my life today...Blogging, Reading, Editing things and TEAAA :)

It's Okay To Fail...

I have always tried to be a perfectionist, not necessarily competetive with others, just doing everything the best I can for myself. I will always point out the little things I have done wrong, or try to tweak them because it was not done right or it just is not right overall. As the last few years have gone on..I have realized that I DO need to come to terms with the fact that it is okay to fail, and to let it go and move on. Have the lesson be learned and move on so I can do better next time. 

Before I had come to terms with this idea, I would always be too stressed out for my own good because something so small even would not be to my liking or I would hold it against myself longer than I should have.  Now that I have learned to compromise with myself and let go, it makes me feel more at peace and more human, IT IS OKAY to make mistakes and fail. 

School is such a BIG part of my life that there are days that school is the only thing I breathe, I love my major, psychology, because I would like to be able to truly help people one day in this field. Some may wonder why I am studying psychology after reading the previous blog because it seems that I may be complaining about people when psychology is about accepting and helping that person first above everything. But that is another great thing about learning to let go, I have learned to SEPERATE what I do and who I am. For example, I can have my opinions about other people, or how I feel but if I have to be professional (psychology wise) I would never be biased towards that person, because the person always come first. If I have something against people who drink and drive or alcoholics in general, and if I was studying a case about an alcoholic, or hypothetically helping someone who was an alcoholic, I would not let my opinion judge how I help that person because there may be an underlying issue why that person even drinks in the first place and the only thing that would matter would be helping that person with the their alcohol problem if that was the case being. 

I have failed in some areas of not always doing right with work, school, friends, and even family, but I have been able now to honestly look back and learn from my mistakes. For instance, if I snapped at a family member because I was having a bad day, or treated them poorly, or hurt their feelings just because I was having a bad day in the past, I can look back on that moment and remember what happened which can help allow me to take a deep breath and remember how that person would feel if I did snap at them, etc. 

From being able to let go and accept that I can't do everything right or be right about everything is helping me to grow a bit as a person, become a better person, and to learn a bit more. Does anyone else feel like this or am I the only one who is trying to improve and not control all the little things in their life? :D

The World Does Not Owe You...

his may be a bit of a complaining post, but recently I ran into several people who take others for granted, whether it’s asking favors, for money, etc. and they act as if they do not need to work hard in life, that they should live any kind of upper class lifestyle that they want but not paying for it or working hard to achieve it..it irritated me so much because people like this do not seem to feel bad, but instead only care about themselves…it makes me wonder HOW someone could act and think like this..but I will never understand because I do not choose to have their morals or kind of lifestyle.

I won’t preach and say that everyone is equal..everyone deserves the same, that is never the case, you can not choose the cards you are dealt, but you do always have a choice in life, and the opportunity to be a better person, make good choices, be kind to others, and you can be rewarded IF YOU EARN IT…there are moments where it scares me to even have my own children one day because if it continues to be the way it is (what I have seen from dumb reality shows where kids are getting everything they want left and right, the term is spoiled?) then I don’t even know if I want children! Well…of course I want kids one day, I just hope that how they are raised (not spoiled, with manners, with a work ethic) will payoff and steer them in the right direction..it is not even necessarily children these days…it is also adults!! which I cannot get a grip on how ADULTS could act like this…throwing tantrums if they do not get their way, they need to have everything new and expensive, and even in the cases where people will look down on people due to not being as wealthy or good looking as they are…most people forget that we DO judge books by their covers and that should not be the case…it is about what is on the INSIDE of a human being, not how they look, what they own, etc. and I feel that sometimes we all forget that..

After reading this, it may seem that all this blog is about is ranting and complaining…that is not the intention, even though I did get sidetracked…I wanted to raise the issue that people need to stay true to who they are and that we all have to work hard in this life in order to be rewarded, not just finanically, but also with family and friendships, one must work to maintain a good family and friendship, it can’t happen by itself..the point is also that I believe that the world does not owe you anything and it is best to keep the con artists and manipulative people, even people that walk all over you at a distance, because unhealthy friends/people in your life are not always good…ah I’m getting off topic again…maybe the point is that I just don’t like people that think the world owes them something…any opinions?? does that even make sense? 

Time...

I’ve been meaning to start a blog for awhile now..but I have never had the time to start one…until now, of course in the midst of all the packing I’m doing, working, and prepping to go back to school. I don’t exactly have one particular theme or way I want to have this blog directed towards but…well “ramblings of life” for now. Not going to lie…starting this blog was due to reading some of the Happiness Project, such an amazing book, one everyone should read. I don’t know if everyone would like it but it’s worth reading, there is so much insight and great opinions in Gretchen’s writing! 

The main thing this blog is about right now is time….and the concept of it, how we manage our time, and how it feels that there is never enough time!! For example, I had to pack up my room/life in boxes today, do laundry, go to work, prepare for this week, send emails, do prep work for school, visit friends, spend time with the family…but somehow at the end of the day I still do not have time for myself or the rest of the things I have to get done…I know this is an odd statement and it may seem as if I am complaining, but there are some days where I cannot fathom how much time goes by, yet there is never enough time sometimes in the day for work and even play!

The managing time part is another concept I have ALWAYS struggled with! You would think that after three years of college, I would have some kind of handle on time management, but no that is not the case….I seem always to be running around doing different things, sometimes late, and always forgetting things. I know the logical explanation would be to make a chart or keep a list of things I have to do….blah blah, I know, I always try to tell myself to keep a chart but never get to it. Any good ideas on how to keep/have better time management?! Maybe I’ll try to go to the store and buy a calendar planner or some kind of list planner to help me, especially before school starts up again..hopefully that would help.

There are always moments when it feels as if we have so much time, (for me it’s when I’m on vacation!  and such) I wish there were still moments like that, but not when we’re on vacation, but maybe instead we can feel that we have so much time to relax when we come home from work, or after a stressful day. There definitely are days like that, but I feel that there are not enough…maybe it’s just a cycle, and there will be if I can better manage my own time! We will see, I need some ideas though?! This headache is now killing me and need to get sleep, the only time I’ll have to sleep for awhile this week anyway!